Whole30/September Reflections Day 8

I realized today that the food part of this journey so far isn’t so hard. I also realized that my mental game is what is being broken this time. There isn’t much to say today other than, I haven’t given in, I haven’t quit and I am actually seeing changes that I know are good for me. Today I had breakfast sausage and a boiled egg for breakfast, leftover steak and salad and for dinner a smoked sausage link and a baked potato. Drank water all day. Still wantingΒ  a huge latte. Still having some trouble with headaches. I haven’t hit the big energy boost yet. We’re still only in the beginning though. I do believe my sleeping is better.

September is full of so many emotions for me. Staying in check is important and yet feeling everything I need to feel about my son and his birthday and the fact that he isn’t here, is important too. So, I take it a day at a time. Sometimes a memory at a time.

That’s it today folks. Got my post in, for accountability. Ready for bed. Love to you all!



Whole30/September Reflections Day 7

Day 7! A whole week! When we did this last year, I was new to it all and didn’t know of all of the headaches, cravings and struggles that come with it. None the less, we pushed through and were so proud. This go round I know what to expect, but I also know how I feel when I’ve done the hard work. The non-scale victories are so important to me, because those are lasting, habit changing, discipline making victories that are worth the struggle.

A quick food log. We had grilled chicken and bacon lettuce wraps with pan fried potatoes. Today we had steak, baked potatoes and salads, then at the church picnic we did “naked” burgers and trimmings and I brought plantain chips and oranges. We drank water and had a nice time. We didn’t have to have the sodas to enjoy it. *winning*

This is where Whole30 meets September reflections. Discipline. That has been my “word” for 2018 and I didn’t really know what it meant for me. I still wonder if I truly know what it’s been for me this year, or if I’ve let it go too often. I look back at our time in the apartment and realize that I was invested in some new good habits there, I’ve learned ways to figure out how to handle (better anyway, not perfected) anxious moments, anger outbursts, assumptions, and reactions. I still struggle in many ways with these things still, but over the year I am finding that I have processes and ways of helping walk through struggles. This has been a lesson in discipline for me.

This journey of Whole30 is always one that really begins to show me where I do not rely on the Father. For so many things, I end up relying on myself, a Dr.Pepper, a Sonic run, a comfort food meal out… so many of these things are straight up idolatry. I have found comfort and solace in something that will always return void. It satisfies for the moment, but never for long. Then I come back to it again and again. So, God has been using this program to remind me of just how dependent I’ve been on myself, the world and all it’s temporary fixes. It’s hard to admit, but I think that it is an incredibly powerful place to be. When you have stripped all of the usual fixes and become aware of the habits you didn’t know existed, God has so much room to grow in us, new habits.

what thing is holding you back? Mine has been poor eating habits and quick emotional fixes by grabbing a soda or a quick and easy meal… without thinking ahead or making preparations I just go through the motions. The discipline I’m forced into with whole30 reminds me of how much I thrive with boundaries. It’s NOT easy, but it’s worth it.

This day, 6 years ago, Nick flew back to Amarillo, while Ava and I stayed in Ft. Worth. We were alone for 2 weeks and those 2 weeks forced me to trust the Lord in more ways than I could even know then. So, hard things are ok. We do hard things because they make us better, they draw us nearer to the Father and they create character in us.

Have an incredible week, folks. Do the hard things! Set the proper boundaries for yourself and see how you grow. Ironic, perhaps. Worth it, absolutely!


Whole30/September Reflections Day 6

Well, I have almost made it through a Saturday at home without some sort of sugary/soda/snacky issue. It’s been a wonderful day at home, with nothing to do, but whatever we want. I’ve had football on since 12:30pm and the girls have been so good today, as we’ve been relaxed and fully rested. I’m thankful for this day of sabbath we’ve had. Nick was gone all day for a ministry meeting and then a rehearsal for GodZon at church. The only thing that could have made our first Saturday off would be if he had been home. πŸ™‚

I cooked up some sausage, eggs and mini pancakes for the girls. I had some hash brown potatoes with mine. We didn’t get hungry until after 1:00, so we all had a light lunch. I had a baked potato with leftover pulled pork, and veggies on top. Tonight, (I’m still waiting for Nick to get home from what is now a 3 hour run through, thank all the people that serve in your children’s ministry, parents…they put in a lot of time) I’m making chicken and bacon lettuce wraps. Maybe we’ll eat before 10:00 lol

Tomorrow we have our Sunday services and then my parents are coming over for lunch before we all go to the church picnic. We’re having steak, baked potatoes and salad for lunch, all compliant! Then we’ll be careful and do a bunless burger or hotdog at the picnic and I’ll bring us some fruit and plantain chips. πŸ™‚ planning ahead is the way to go around here and I’m getting better at it!

Today was a reminder that rest is good. Space for our minds and hearts to breathe is so necessary. We cannot be creative or energized in anything we do if we are not rested or given the space and time to breathe, relax, and allow ourselves to just be. Life is beginning all over again for me in many ways. My mothering feels refreshed as I’ve had so much margin today to just be a mom and relax with my girls. My home is ordered, yet we made messes and had fun today because we had the time and space to do so. My heart and ready and excited for services tomorrow and leading our people in worship. I’m excited for all God is doing through this huge schedule/life change. It is so important and such a huge blessing for my family and I. I’m so thankful!

So, tomorrow is day 7. My non-scale victories are that I am not anxious about wanting a soda or something sweet at certain times of the day. Water is satisfying again. My skin is looking more clear, my patience seems even a tiny bit more accessible. I am still catching up on sleep and I still get a headache daily, sometimes I think it is a sore tooth of mine that has had a lot of work done, but none the less, I feel as though my body is truly detoxing from all of the sugar and carbs, dairy, etc.

For now, I’m celebrating another day of making the right choice and enjoying how amazing this day of Sabbath rest has been. I’m so so thankful!

How was your Saturday??



Whole30/September Reflections Day 5

Hello Friday!! I was a bit nervous about the weekend/days off, etc. My tendencies are to “have fun” on the weekends and not be so “strict” on the days that we don’t have a structured routine. But, here we are and day 5, I still want a huge vanilla latte. Huge.

Food wise, I had a protein rich breakfast and enjoyed it! We were at Walmart around lunch and as I was thinking I found some turkey bites(fairly compliant) and some pistachios. I got an unsweet coconut tea on the way home. I stocked us up on fruit, some img_1359proteins, eggs, etc. Stayed in budget and felt super good about my basket. πŸ™‚ non-scale victory-self esteem. We haven’t eaten out (not even sonic snack) all week. Saving money, healthier options…yay.

My brain is re-learning how to not crave something sweet after a meal, needing a coke or snack during kid pick up time every afternoon, thinking simply for meals, not overthinking all that has to happen for dinner to be on our plates. We had hamburger patties and green beans one night last week and it was fine! Tonight, and I didn’t get a picture, but made “tostones” basically they are fried plantains. πŸ˜€ delicious! I topped a few of them with homemade ranch, left over pulled pork, lettuce, avacado, and red onions. They were so good. Last night we had similar meal, but in a bowl. We had lettuce, red onion, avacado, pulled pork and “awesome sauce” from a food blogger I follow. It was all compliant and really good!

I have been sleeping better. I still get headaches every day in some form, but I can tell they are lessening. I do have more energy later in the day. The mornings are tough though without caffeine. My skin is clear and brighter than it had been.

I did try making myself and almond milk latte. It wasn’t terrible. It wasn’t awesome either haha. πŸ™‚ trying to like unsweetened coffee and just don’t like it.

We are collecting items for Mended Little Hearts of Ft. Worth and it is so sweet to see who gets involved and it means so much! I love it so much and it blesses my heart. It truly blesses me so deeply to know people still love and remember my boy. The further away we get from his time here on earth, it seems as though maybe it doesn’t matter anymore, but I know that isn’t true. He mattered. What we do in honor of him matters as well. ❀ If you want to join in, go to the contact page on my site and just shoot me a message! logo-cc

I have realized that I struggle with being still, resting and having time to “waste” so having more time on the weekends for rest and margin will be interesting to see how it works for me πŸ™‚ I’m looking forward to having the option to not do anything Saturday. πŸ™‚ What is sabbath for me and what does that look like? Will I play with the girls more without the stupid fear that I should be doing something else? Will I watch as many movies or football games as I want? Will I get all the laundry done? Probably all of those things. My work tends to be creative, planning, communicating and taking care of multiple things at a time, so I feel as though sabbath for me will most likely look like space. Space to do whatever my soul needs. That will look like many different things, but I know it will look lovely. I’m so thankful.

green wooden chair on white surface

I’m holding on this weekend and not giving up! Whole30 doesn’t have to be hard, but learning new things and changes old ways can be. Day at a time.

Happy Weekend y’all!



Whole30/September Reflections Day 4

Hello. I skipped day three. I got to bed late and didn’t jot down any thoughts. I thought I would combine my Day 3 and 4 into one. Yesterday was pretty good. I woke up feeling terrrrrible though. I woke up with a headache, NO energy, and just overall blah. It was a struggle. I pushed through, took advil, drank water, finally ate some protein and I came around. The rest of the day was fine. I have decided that simple is the name of the game this go round. No crazy recipes, no fancy brands, etc. Just keeping it simple and re-thinking dinner. My Mimi’s Friday night dinners would cry at my naked hamburger patty and green beans Tuesday night, but none the less, it was exactly enough and it was easy. Grilling ahead, cooking ahead, etc helps so much when it comes to quick dinners and emergencies. Keeping it simple has been SO good. I am hating breakfast these days. I don’t want it. So, I’m just finding ways to eat a bigger lunch/protein and good fat wise and then lots of water. I’m tanking coffee right now because I like coffee with dairy and sweetness. SO, ya. that’s out. haha Nutpods are ok. They’re not a vanilla latte.

So we truck on and get through the first week. I feel empowered by not caving or giving in… it really is a mental exercise. Sometimes we think things are SO hard and maybe they are, but maybe those hard things are the BEST thing for us. Let’s do hard things, folks. Do the hard thing and love your spouse even when you don’t want to, love your kids even in the darkest parts of parenting, which means grace and patience…. hard things like extending grace to the checker at the grocery store, your co-worker, etc. Let’s do hard things, like take care of ourselves. Let’s do hard things, like commit to our families, our homes, our churches and our communities.

Please, weather, please cooperate with our fall needs, please. please.

leaves hang on rope
Photo by Designecologist on Pexels.com

Have a great day folks! Hard things can be good things.

What hard things are y’all doing these days? Share away!

Whole30/September Reflections Day 2

I decided I would journal blog everyday for accountability and a place to document my days. This is something that I believe will help me in my Whole30, but it will also help me in some disciplines I’m working towards and helps stretch my brain.

Today was good! I made a basic breakfast of scrambled eggs and chicken/apple sausage.

It was simple, but good! I brought provisions for work, a banana, clementines, apple and an RX bar. I brought my lunch today as well. I grilled a bunch of stuff last night, so I had some smoked sausage and roasted potatoes. I ate my RX bar during kid pick up and it saved me. Lots of water. I can’t do black coffee, so I just don’t drink any. Tonight we had burger patties, green beans, left over roasted potatoes and the girls had some rice with theirs. I finished the day with a banana. All the ice water with lemon. Overall the day was good. I had non-scale victories such as more focus and energy, not breaking any rules for convenience and I kept it simple. No need to fuss over fancy recipes. Lean meats, greens and healthy fats, for the win.


This month, as many know, would have been Noah’s 6th birthday. We have decided to collect items for Mended Little Hearts Ft Worth. They do bravery bags for each family. In the bags are various items to help them in their stay in the CICU at Cook Children’s. So, we are collecting items. This is something we did in the beginning right after he died and decided this year would be a good year to do it again. If you would like to donate items, just let me know!

Personal tissues
Coloring books (child and adult)
Crossword puzzles books, Sudoko
Children’s book
Blank journals
Lip balm, chapstick
Travel-sized hand sanitizer
Travel-sized toiletries (toothpaste, shampoo, deodorant, body wash)
Snacks (crackers, candy, nothing that has short shelf-life)
Pens, pencils
Hot chocolate packets
Deck of cards
Card games


Thanks for always being such a blessing to me, remembering our boy and loving my family. I appreciate it so much.


Short post for tonight. Day 2 in the books!


Whole30/September Reflections Day 1


I am going to go ahead and journal here on my blog for this month of September. Nick and I are doing a Whole 30 this month. September, as I wrote about in my previous post, brings with it a lot of freshness for me personally. Every year for 5 years I have reflected upon September of 2012 with a sensitive spirit and wet eyes. That month (that 5 months) did so much work on me, but there is something sweet about September that I just love.

So, this month, as we re-set our health, our bodies, minds and hearts, I want to record it down, so when I feel myself slipping I will have a home base to return and refocus.

I know that not too many people even read these posts, which is fine, but I do appreciate the accountability it brings me. This next month of posts is part of a goal I have to write more often and with more purpose, as well as share our health journey and have a place to explore my struggles, successes and ideas.

With that, I give you Day 1 of my Whole 30

-got to sleep in a bit, which was nice. Starting on a slow morning where I had time/room to make a solid breakfast was great. I made a sweet potato/veggie/egg scramble with some bacon on the side. Lemon water and then I brewed some coffee and tried some img_12961img_1298Hazelnut NutPods. It wasn’t too bad! I’ll adjust to unsweetened coffee in time, but it was creamy and frothy. I had a banana and a clementine mid morning. I was full enough around lunch that I didn’t make lunch. I had some more clementines and then made a cold snack plate after the park. I took some compliant turkey lunch meat, pepperoni, veggies and ranch that I made last night. I did eat some plantain chips. I gave myself a portion and put them away. It was a great afternoon pick me up. Tonight we are grilling burgers and having them bun-less. Walmart has a brand of grass-fed organic beef that is tasty. We’ll have steak fries with them tonight and be so happy πŸ™‚ haha. Eating clean isn’t the end of the world. I also had some sparkling water. That is one of those thing you either tolerate or hate. It’s not a soda, it’s not just water… it’s a weird mix and as Jamie Golden, of the PopCast says, “it tastes like a fruity burp”… but when I’m not drinking sodas, but want a bubbly drink, it’s nice. There are tons of brands now days. πŸ™‚img_1311

img_1309-I plan on making some salmon cakes from the Whole 30 book tonight for lunches I can take to work this week. We are laying low during this month of eating out, so being intentional and simple is important to me as we tackle this 30.

-I’m going to plug my phone in, in the bathroom and not scroll before bed. Instead, I have an incredible book I’m reading currently, She Is Yours- Trusting God as You Raise the Girly He Gave You. It is by Jonathan and Wynter Pitts. SO good and I’m just finished with the introduction.

img_1310-I will do some self care tonight, since usually I do that on Sundays and we were busy yesterday.

This weekend will be a huge first for our family. It will be the first Saturday in 8 years that one of us isn’t serving somehow for a church service. Our plan is to do some fun with the kids on Saturdays to come. This first Saturday is reserved for lots of rest, snuggles and just being home together. I look forward to how this day each week will enhance our family and our routine. Sabbath rest is something God has given us to cherish and cherish it we will.

I guess that’s it for Day 1. Day 1 is always simple and fairly easy. I know the real fight comes with the work week and when things get busy.

The other thing I wanted to address for myself this month were some things that God is doing in me. How do I slow down with him? How do I keep from only serving God and not enjoying him? How can my relationship with God not always immediately make me think of my job(worship pastor), my ministry (worship leading), events/series/set lists coming up. So, what does September have ahead for me as I try to separate myself and Jesus from ALL of the other things. Does that make sense? This blog isn’t just a place I want to write things that can “help”, I want to celebrate things here, explore and struggle through things in this space… that is what it originally was, a place to share/struggle/explore. So here we are again. #findingtheheart in September looks like finding my own heart, nurturing it and being kind to myself, praying that in turn I will be kinder to my person, my girls and my team/co-workers/etc.

What are some things that help you in this? Self care? Intentional things you do that keep you well/healthy?Share away!

Today the girls (Ava had a friend over) all colored and I joined in. We listened to Disney songs and had a ball. Take some time to have fun, think little, be creative, etc.

Have a great week folks! Share any tips, tricks, encouragement or advice! Would love to hear from you!

Find the heart in your every day life,