The Weight in the Wait…

Y’all. We have been living in this new way for over a month and before we know it we will have arrived at May, the end of the school year and the beginning of summer. It is so crazy to see just how far we have come and it is also disheartening to see what all we are going to miss out on. It is ok to be disheartened and sad. It is truly one of the beautiful sides to being human. I am not great today, honestly. I am feeling the sadness and weight of it today.

We get to feel things. We get to feel sad, disheartened and upset. One of the statements I heard and read a lot after Noah died was, “deep grief means you had someone to deeply love”. I get it. I don’t disagree with it, but it didn’t make much sense at the time. Time is a funny thing. It drags and yet it is fleeting. Time gives us perspective. One thing I’ve learned over time is that when we are sad at loss, it does show and prove to us that we loved deeply, were blessed to have experienced something so wonderful that we are sad it is not there. For example, missing out on the end of school activities, or other summer events that have already been cancelled. There is a true loss because we have lived well.

May is usually an extremely busy month. Between recitals, end of year concerts, plays, performances, tests, projects due, end of school parties, and graduations. The month is packed with celebrating, applauding and showing off skills learned throughout the year. So, I know this year will be void of so much of that. It does make me sad to think of how much this graduating class will have lost, some closure even, but what I will say is this; there’s going to be a story to tell.

I think of all the stories my grandparents have to tell. Stories of their growing up, the adventures and times that they suffered through and the times that life was rich and even golden, one might say. The stories they tell are of grit and grace, hard times can make for thankful people. Hard times of loss and tragedy can call for people to rise up and become who they were meant to be all along. So my prayer for our graduating class, even every student class underneath them is this; let this be a part of your story. Let this experience of Covid-19 and all it has brought with it be a part of your life that changes the trajectory of our culture. Use this as a badge of honor, marking you set apart to do great things for the Lord, for our country, our communities and families. Yes, the end of the year will look different, but I know the God of redemption and He is capable of redeeming these hard moments. He is willing to do something greater in this time, than the ordinary. He is waiting and ready for us to say ok Lord, use this, use me, help me meet people where they are with your grace, your good news, your love. May we be reminded that ordinary is not our calling. Normal, routine, usual and mundane isn’t always best. Sometimes God calls us from the usual to the unusual, even radical, for his glory and his good.

He is found in the mundane, always. In the dishes, the laundry, the same chores each day, the same school routine each year, the things we cling to so tightly. He is there, He is always there, but sometimes He calls us to more next. Do we trust him enough? Do we trust that he is using this entire season to shape up, rearrange us and mold us into something greater than we would be otherwise? Let’s trust him enough to follow him, to let him shape us and to watch him do things beyond our grasp. He is enough.

How do we do this?

I think as we learn to trust, we learn to let go of our own expectations. We remember that He knows what He’s doing and when we fight that, we lose. We lose hope, we lose our minds, we lose friendships, we lose family. When we fight the Lord’s way and His will, we will lose, every time.

We must keep “finding the heart” of this season. We must keep our eyes on Him, the one who authors our lives, directs our paths and never leaves us to fend for ourselves. God is with us, He is making all things new, He is reminding us that his ways are higher and better than our own. I pray we can surrender what we think is best, for what He knows is best.

But now, this is what the Lord says—
    he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
 When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.
 For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
Isaiah 43:1-3

He is where our joy is and he continues to show us His heart!

Sure love you all!
Shaina

One thought on “The Weight in the Wait…

  1. Your writing today led me to think of Roman’s 8:28-32. Anyone who knows me well knows that I have no genuine knowledge of chapter and verse! But still…💕

    Like

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