We all know that there is a scrolling epidemic in our society. We stop at a signal light and scroll, we wait for the microwave to finish running and we scroll, we sit in the pick up lane and scroll, we lay in bed for an hour before going to sleep and we scroll. We have created such poor habits and I’m unsure we are even aware of the depth.
So, the last few months have been quite a struggle for me mentally and emotionally. I just don’t feel connected to anything/anyone very well. I have been in this fog, so to speak, and it has started to effect so many areas of my life. I have been open about going to counseling for a few months, and I have been giving myself a lot more grace and space for mental rest, physical rest and margin. During the last month or so, I felt a huge conviction and heaviness about my social media usage and the fact that I am constantly scrolling. It was almost a hypnosis of sorts. My friend and I sat for a few hours and hashed this whole subject out, while on my recent trip. We sat and discussed the good things about social media, being connected to so many at once, the blessings of it all and how we can share with others many different things; kids with out of town family, etc. We also had to have an honest conversation about the ways it has hurt our mental space, attention to our lives, kids, spouses, jobs, worship, study, just life in general.
My point here is not to tell everyone to get rid of it. In fact, I am not going to give anyone any advice here, but I will let you tag along as I “log” my next 2 months, scroll free. At this point I had Nick change passwords on my accounts to Facebook, Instagram and I deleted them both, I also deleted Snapchat. I may end up deleting Pinterest as well and I have a game I like that if it becomes a substitute for the others, it will have to go too.
So from June 1-August 1 I will be experimenting with not sharing and not scrolling on certain platforms. Writing here is edifying to me and it takes effort. It helps to sharpen me, not dull me. This blog will be shared to my Finding the Heart page, but I am not actually on FB doing it. It goes through my site, so I’m not cheating. haha
Honestly, since Saturday, I haven’t missed any of it. It has been freeing and there is an element of pressure that is gone. Just is. I didn’t have to try, I just had to be denied access to the circus that is, social media. Y’all my mind is already more clear, I have already read more, and I feel really calm. Here’s the thing; I don’t know what the rest of the few months will feel like. I have Ava’s birthday, a vacation, VBS, my anniversary, summer stuff in general and I want to share that stuff with my friends. I want the world to know how amazing my life is. So, I am already reminding myself that I get to enjoy my life, without others knowing it or not. and that is OK. Sometimes life needs to be lived within our walls, within our own borders. Texting my family pictures instead of posting them is so nice for us all. There is a personal touch to that.
This is just a small start, but I feel optimistic about it! I feel so many anxieties and pressures coming down. I feel the need to create a platform or a following falling down. I can write to just write. I can live my life, right where I am, with my girls and my husband and not try so hard to do anything spectacular. My life, living it contently and more privately can be satisfying and perhaps even more obedient in my personal walk with Christ. This isn’t the answer for everyone. This 2 month experiment will be just that, 2 months. Learning what life looks like after that will be another adventure.