As I launched this web page, I was wondering if any of this even mattered. Would people even care about a bunch of random hearts, found in various places and shared online? What is the point? Why does it matter?
I realized that it is a sweet sentiment, to remember our late son, by finding hearts and sharing them, but after just a week of asking people to find them and share, I feel as though it has been a blessing to many people, just as much as it has blessed me. When God placed on my heart, this idea of, finding the heart, I finally felt like the season that all of this came from, finally had a summary. If I could explain in one sentence, what the entire season of Noah’s life, in our lives, was like for us, it would be… “Because Noah came, lived and died, we were able to more clearly find the heart in every circumstance we face”
We have found that with faith, we can find the heart of every season, ever trial, every circumstance. We must be aware and look, but it’s there. When we find the heart, the best thing about it all is that we find God’s heart. Finding hearts in rocks or in the clouds is special and I know He has placed them there for us to find and appreciate. What I have also found is that when I am actively seeking out his purpose, his presence and his plan in my circumstance, I find his heart. I find his good character, his grace, his love. When our eyes are open to actively look for him, he is to be found.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8
So many times we ask God where he is, what he is doing, why he does it… at some point I learned that it was ok to question God and ask those questions, but there were questions that had much more concrete answers.. like, “what are you doing in me?” “where are you leading me?” “where can I find you more?” When I made it so much more personal, it caused me to listen more intently. I then began to see the blessings, big and small, surrounding and mixed in my mess of a life. I began to see relationships built with the staff as a beautiful gift. I saw the outpouring of so many people as the evidence of the love of God for me. I saw quiet days in the ICU as time spent with the Lord in His word and worship, alongside my son. I began to open my eyes to the blessings around me. The heart of the matter, was that he was working on me.
We are 5 years out of that season and over those 5 years I have found that finding the heart looks differently. I find that when I struggle with anxiety, instead of fighting it, I surrender to the Lord again and again and he is there to realign me, love me and remind me that if I could walk through the darkness I had and he didn’t leave me then, he would not leave me now. Bad days happen, way more than I like to admit, and I let them get the best of me, all too often. Have we ever thought that the bad days are ways that we are reminded to find the heart in the matter.
So, finding the heart, it is more than just finding hearts and tagging them. It is making space in your life to pause and find the heart of the matter in every situation. In every place that you find yourself slipping, tripping and struggling.. what could you possibly find as blessing in that situation? Digging in deep and taking the time to ask the Lord and listen, repent of sin/bad attitudes/judgemental heart/habits/, etc bring
How am I finding the heart today? Well, glad you asked. haha
Lent is beginning this week. (a really great way to walk through Lent, is I grew up in a baptist church and I’m thankful for that raising. I also was not taught about Lent or why it could be a very important time in the year. Lent, being the 40 days before Easter, usually starting with Ash Wednesday and ending with Easter Sunday, is a time of pausing, restricting yourself of something possibly that is a distraction to your relationship with the Lord, and awaiting the death/burial and resurrection of Christ. I have found that, even in my very elementary dealings with Lent, that I always find it a beautiful season of being extremely focused on Jesus. It is such an intentional time. It reminds me that repentance is KEY to closeness to Christ. It also reminds me that without repentance, we’re living in rebellion to the Father. Without taking away the things that keep us distant and out of touch with the Lord, we will just simply fall away. We need hard times. We need deep seasons of learning, growth and sacrifice. We need to allow God to do that hard work in us. Sometimes we don’t get a choice and other times he is waiting for us to ask him to move!
Finding the heart of my walk with Christ always involves dying to self. I encourage you to find the heart of your walk with Christ, by dying to the things that are in the way of it. It could be anything small or it could be something so large that you need to ask someone to walk through that with you. Either way, do the hard thing.
I hope and pray that finding the heart becomes a way we find ourselves closer to the Father and closer to HIS heart.